On Semptember 7, 2002 I quit smoking with my friend Dominique. I smoked alot less than her pack a day habit but we both decided to quit together. We went on the nicotine patch to combat the cravings. It wasn't easy and sometimes we were as bitchy as two gerbils in a cage with a bad case of PMS during a heatwave with no cable tv and poorly fitting shoes! But after a few weeks we started to feel better and didn't need the patch anymore. We started going on longer and longer walks and feel so much better now!

Puff Puff Cough Couygh Ack Hrrkkk Puff Puff
While we were smoking we looked like this! Yuck! We were one stinky ugly looking bunch of addicted monkeys!


Sexy Shiney and Happy Pink Lungs Rock
Now we are glowing and glistening with healthiness! Yumm! We are looking good!

Together we have saved
$ /100 dollars
since we quit smoking!
That ain't chump change, chumps!
Be smart...quit now and buy cool fun stuff!


Pauline hates smoke!Think of the money you will save by not having to buy tobacco, lighters, ashtrays, matches etc. No more standing in line at the corner store behind all the other losers buying smokes, lottery tickets and king cans of beer!

Your costs for cleaning clothes, carpets, and furniture will go down because you don't constantly smell like a wet bathmat on a campfire! Your clothes last longer because you won't be constantly washing them to remove the stench of a 3am death tavern!

Your sense of taste and smell will be enhanced so everything is so much sweeter. You don't have to chew so much gum to hide the fact that your breath smells like some troll who lives under the autoroute!You will enjoy your food so much more...when you add some Chipotle Tobasco sauce to your eggs it will taste freakin' great! You won't have to soak everything in salt and ketchup and MSG just to taste something!

You will look and feel younger! Notice how all smokers are looking like a cow's ass chap! Plus you can walk up a hill and ride your bike further and your new bedroom mojo will turn your partner on like a 500 watt lavasexlamp!

Smoking causes wrinkling and the appearance of premature aging so by quitting you avoid looking like an old yellow kleenex!

No more yellow teeth or fingers - that is just plain disgusting.

You'll feel proud of your ability to overcome something so challenging and to free yourself from the slavery of being chained to a murderous tobacco industry that wants your money and kills you while you give it to them! Cigarettes will no longer control your life and it's fun to mock and ridicule smokers who are having phlegm filled coughing fits!

You will be setting a great example for children and be more like a role model and less like of a vile plaguelike cretin!

No need to worry about which restaurant you go to or whether you can smoke in a particular place because you can go anywhere and remain calm and focused without getting the heebiejeebies and having to stumble outside to spank the monkey!

No more nagging from people asking when you're going to quit because now you can bitch to your friends and family about their smoking and that, baby, is some Sweet Poetic Justice!


Yeah that's right ... now I'm like a crazy Lee Marvin Cigarette Nazi hopped up on cheap pharmeceuticals! DEAL WITH IT!

I used to smoke 4 packs per week : Dominique used to smoke 6 packs per week
I have saved $ /100 dollars since quitting smoking!
Dominique saved $ /100 dollars since quitting smoking!